Her Family Found Her!

The little girl that I dreamed may be own, has found her family! This is such great news, and I'm so happy for the family, and even happier for this sweet girl.

Mom, if you're reading this blog, I just wanted you to be the first to know (besides Mike and the kids of course) that our next family member won't be from China :( In my heart of hearts I know that he/she is in Ethiopia. I'm sure already born...maybe has a limb difference...maybe hard of hearing...maybe something more...

To those of you who think I'm crazy? You're right!! I am! But what makes it okay for me is others are crazy too!!! Yah for the crazy people!!!!

And...now I'm late for work.

Love, k.c.

A Better Day

The kids love it when Grandma comes to visit!

Month four is going so much better for Ya Ya and our family. We are all finally starting to find our groove in this new family dynamic. Ya Ya is really loving having a mama, and she proves it to me all the time by wiping her forever runny nose on me. She is always by me or on me, and is rarely out of sight, unless she's in the bathroom flushing the toilet, or trying to sneak out the front door.
She is talking up a storm, and is starting to put sentences together. The girl is amazing, and whatever they said about her having microcephaly well, whatever...
Here are some of her latest and cutest:

• Hi Ya Ya
• Come on!
• No No
• poo poo pee pee (said together, which means change me now!)
• nigh nigh baby
• Mee-ma! (her name for Aimee) said very loudly!

Oh and for those wondering how the two little girls are getting along...well, much better than I thought they would. Being my 6th baby I'm SO pleased at how well they get along! Jie Ling is very business as usual and doesn't get too bent over Ya Ya touching her things. There are only a couple of toys that are off limits, and even then before Jie Ling rips whatever it is out of her hands, she has something to replace it with!! Ya Ya may get crazy mad, but now gets it that sisters Play School camera is off limits!! Mike told me in the beginning to give them time to settle their differences (unless of course it got crazy) and he was so right! Jie Ling gets annoyed when Ya Ya calls her Ya Ya, and Ya Ya gets annoyed when Jie Ling takes up too much room on my lap.

Meanwhile:

I know this is crazy talk, but I've been looking at the lists again...there is a 10 year old girl who has touched my heart, she is deaf and mute. She is described as very bright, and loves to do art. In one of the pictures she is wearing a dress that is too big, giving the peace sign. Too cute. I wonder how she'd do in a family like ours? Could we truly give her what she needs? Could we become part of the deaf culture? If our family couldn't or wouldn't learn sign, does that mean there would be no relationship with her? Would she feel isolated? Did I mention that we have a school for the hearing impaired a few miles from our house?

Okay, I'm praying her family finds her soon!

Life with Ya Ya

We are almost at our three month mark with Elizabeth Xiao Ya. This is supposedly the time it takes to start feeling like a “normal” family again. This makes me laugh, as our family knows no such word.

Our first three months feel something like a dream. At times it has been emotional, sweet, tender, and loving, just like a scene from the Sound of Music. But some days, and even some weeks, it feels like a scene from a horror movie, full of fear, anger, frustration, and regret. We have had a LOT of horror! Ya Ya has not been easy. She is extremely active (I’d like to use the word hyper) very demanding, destructive, and always, always, always, hungry. This is sad, but difficult to overcome.
It’s certain though that it has taken these three months for me to fall madly in love with my baby. It’s funny how the adoption “love cycle works.” Falling in love with a picture, falling in love with a dream. The beginning of the cycle is fun and exciting, but not based on reality. The reality is a two year old full of their own life experiences.

Ya Ya was referred to Children’s Hospital in Seattle for her small head size, her rather large foot, and the number of café-au-lait spots she has. We left there with more questions, and no answers. She has enough café-au-lait spots to have neurofibromatosis, but a small head size is not typical in NF, and she has no other signs, so this is good. She is considering Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome because of Ya Ya’s ear pit (I didn’t even know she had a dang ear pit!), but again Ya Ya doesn’t have many of the features of B.W., like a big tongue. But since this is a possibility she will have abdominal ultrasounds every three months (until she’s seven) and AFP blood work at the same time, due to the very small increased chance of Wilm’s tumor and hepatoblastoma if she does indeed have this or hemi hyperplasia (overgrowth on one side of the body).

What I wasn’t prepared for in the genetics’ report was her referring to Ya Ya as a charming 2 year old with microcephaly. She never said anything like this when we met, so why was I reading this in her report? Isn’t this serious enough to mention? I put a call in to her right away, and thankfully she called me the same day. So…I guess our Ya Ya does indeed have a tiny head, but not to panic as head size does not equal intelligence. She has microcephaly because her head size is so many deviations below such and such, so blah, blah, blah. When I took her to daycare and I compared her to the other kids in her class (all the kids in her class are one year olds.) I really saw that her head is small, but obviously not so small cuz’ I never noticed it before!I was just told that her head is small. Apparently her head is the size of a nine month old. And even if anything were seriously off with our girl it wouldn’t matter at this point, we love her and all her big and small parts. When I look back to February of 2007 when I first got my hands on her file, I thank God at not having her file reviewed by an International Adoption Dr. like we did with Jie Ling. I don’t know why I didn’t have her file looked over, but at the time I thought “why,” what could they possibly tell me that would be so horrible? (well I know why now.) Had Dr. Davies told me that Wang Xiao Ya had microcephaly, and had I researched it, I probably would have scared myself away…honestly I’m sure I would have.

The next day we went back to Children's to see Dr. Mosca who will be performing her foot surgery. Unfortunately he thinks Ya Ya needs a syme's amputation like Jie Ling, but I don't agree. I'm still not convinced that Jie Ling should have lost her foot, and even though we did check out Shriner's, I don't think enough Dr.'s have seen feet like my girls (with three toes and the sole affected.) Shouldn't we first try to keep the foot? My girls' big feet have not bothered them, there is no pain, and Ya Ya is able to wear a shoe on her bigger foot. I don't know, it just seems too radical and permanent, which is why we're waiting on her surgery (among other things.)

I'm looking forward to the next three months with our baby Ya Ya, and also hopeful for more Sound of Music moments!

The Holidays are OVER!!

And I really don't think I could be any happier! I really tried to keep things as simple as possible for baby Ya Ya, but of course things still got very crazy!

Ya Ya's progress is slow, soooo slow. It's so hard to describe what she's like or what exactly it is she's doing that is so difficult, but we are all pretty tired and cranky. When she's happy (or even not screaming) she is the cutest baby in the universe! BUT in a split second it can all change and the screamfest begins. She gets ticked off pretty easily, and I'm doing my best to teach her basic sign, but it's coming very slowly. I'm extremely lucky that she sleeps and eats great, and when she's happy she plays so well, but when she gets mad it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on...

Baby Ya Ya has decided that my days on the computer are over, which is a good thing I suppose.

Sheeeeesssss's Baaaaaccckkkkk!!

A week of calmness and staying at home has really made a difference in taming our wild girl! She has really settled down, and is no longer constantly moving. (I'm not kidding about the constant motion. We would count and I think the longest she ever sat still was 4 seconds!) The past couple of nights Ya Ya was still waking up every 3 hours (& staying up for 4) but her complete despair was lessened to soft cries with long breaks in between. I was finally able to graduate to our king size bed with her, although I was still not allowed to talk to her or touch her, yet she would sit at my feet and fall asleep facing away from me. As soon as she fell asleep I'd pull her up to me and snuggle up to her, hoping she wouldn't wake up and hit me!!!
Anyways last night as I carried her upstairs (with her hitting me because she knew it was bedtime) I set her on the bed while I climbed in waiting for the crying to begin, and guess what??? She laid down right next to me, plopped her thumb in her mouth and fell asleep all night long!! I was frozen next to her, afraid to move. I wanted to shout out my happiness!! I got to snuggle this precious girl and she wasn't resisting!! (well duh, she was asleep.) Yes, this is great stuff!!
Xiao Ya saw the Dr. yesterday and had her pint of blood drawn, and tomorrow I get to scoop her poop out of her diaper and bring in samples. This should be loads of fun, but necessary of course. Ya Ya will be seeing a neurologist to figure out all her cafe-au-lait spots. More than five could be a sign of neurofibromatosis, and between her reg. Dr. and I we counted at least five, but some are pretty faint so it will be nice to have someone who knows what they're doing look at her. She doesn't appear to have any other things going on so we'll see. Neurofibromatosis was something the geneticist ruled out in Jie Ling, so I knew this could be a possibility with Xiao Ya and her macrodactyly.

Today we went to Nordstrom and Xiao Ya got her first pair of shoes!! Nordstrom allows you to buy different sized shoes, so we finally found a pair to accommodate her foot!! I was so excited for Ya Ya! I'm pretty happy that she has had surgery, and maybe removing one of her other toes, she'll be able to keep her foot and still wear shoes comfortably.












Look at this amazing girl!! She was so proud of her castle!!

This Isn't Fun...

I had a feeling this might happen, but our happy bundle of energy baby has up and left. In her place is a screaming, unhappy, and demanding girl. I guess this is normal, but it totally sucks.

She screams for me to pick her up, and then the moment I do she screams for me to put her down. She woke up every 3 hours last night, and the big family bed on the floor was not up to par for her. She pulled, scratched, and slapped me while thrashing all over on the floor. I tried the crib and she cried and cried, and our bed is up too high and not safe for this monkey girl, so I put her on the floor with me and she screams and flops all over like a fish out of water. Sheesh...it was all I could do to remind myself that this won't last forever. Nothing I have been doing is good enough, and she's not afraid to let me know with a slap or a scratch.

It's not all bad though...She finally laid her little head on my shoulder, and has allowed me to hold her bottle and her at the same time. I think we're up to a one minute snuggle, which is amazing for this ball of energy. She is not too affectionate, but I believe in time she will be. Oh and she really is into playing with cars and trucks, and instead of pushing the shopping cart, she carries it! Her bath the other night was great. I just had Jie Ling in there playing and Ya Ya started pulling at her clothes, so I threw her in and she had a blast! When she's happy she's a riot.

Okay, I'm feeling better after this vent. Dear Aimee is playing with both girls in their room and it's about time for me to tackle diapers and pajamas with Ya Ya. Maybe she'll surprise me tonight and it won't turn into a wrestling match!

I can't wait for these first few months to pass, and for life to start feeling normal!!

Home Sweet Home!

The flight home was not as horrible as I thought it would be with my little bundle of energy x 10. The thing I was most pleased with is that she didn't poop!! Imagine trying to wrestle an alligator that had a poopy butt on an airplane! I think she cried for the last hour of our Hong Kong to San Francisco flight, but I really don't remember now. It all feels like a dream, and seems very distant.

We were so happy to finally make it home, and Jie Ling couldn't wait to finally see her big sister Aimee! The girls and I slept from 6 pm to midnight, and then we got up and Ya Ya helped me with laundry (literally) and we ate and changed etc...Oh and Ya Ya has only had 1 bath since we've had her!!! I'm not proud of this fact, I just don't want to upset her! I hate being the bad guy, but I think tomorrow is the big day!

Today has been pretty awesome! I made a big bed on the living room floor and the baby girls and I slept from 4 am to 2 pm. We all woke up feeling good and refreshed. I even made pancakes, and anyone who knows me, knows this is a real miracle. Xiao Ya has been running all over playing with toys, eating, pooping, drinking, and wanting to be held quite a bit...She loves all her siblings she hadn't met and has just been a joy. She chased the cat when she met her, so I guess this isn't going to be a problem. Everything has been a complete opposite experience from Jie Ling. I'm wondering how long this bliss is going to last??