What a Difference a Year Makes!!

As I sit here preparing all of our documents for our upcoming travel, I came across these photos of Jie Ling. I'll never forget the day I received these updated pictures from Stefani, and my initial feelings when I first opened her attachment. My excitement was short lived, and my heart sank. I went numb...I was afraid and shocked by the size of her foot. I was afraid of my feelings, and to tell you the truth I cut off the bottom portion of the photo before I passed it around. I didn't want to have to explain it to others, and I wanted people, myself included, to see "her" not her foot. I lost many nights of sleep worrying about my feelings and what all this could possibly mean? I confided in very few people and one night asked my then 12 year old daughter, "What if I can't get past her foot, what if there's way more wrong with her, and all of her parts grow unusually large?" I kept my feelings secret and dutifully went to China to receive our daughter.

The moment she was placed in my arms was undescribable. It really was like giving birth, except she was fully clothed, with a little piggy tail on the top of her head, and a fistful of crackers. It was magical, beautiful, and extremely emotional. I had almost forgotten about her foot, but it wouldn't have mattered if her foot was the size of China, because I was hers forever! It did take me a couple of days for the unveiling, and it was just like, oh ya it's pretty big, but beautiful in a weird kind of way, because it was a part of her, and she is one beautiful girl inside and out.

The REASON I am posting this story, is that if it weren't for others sharing their experiences and HONESTY, then I may have never ever considered looking at special needs, and then we wouldn't have our perfect daughter, and we wouldn't be on our way for Xiao Ya!

AND this time around, I am happy to report that I have no reservations what-so-ever about baby Ya Ya's foot, and whatever surprises (yes, Jie ling came with more that a funny foot) I KNOW no matter what it will all be okay!!

Thank God!

We're Really Leaving!!!

In 23 more days I'll be holding my baby daughter! This just feels unbelievable and like a dream. All of my fears and anxiety have melted away (though I'm sure will reappear our first days together when I say to myself, "WHAT the hell have I done???" Right now though I choose to live in my little fantasy world where my two little Chinese daughters will love one another, and Jie Ling will share all of her toys and her mama lovingly. They'll look so cute in their matching pajamas, giggling while I tuck them into bed. But then reality sets in, because I am the mother of six children now, and no such world exists!!

Anyways, our travel plans are set!! Gramma Nina and Papa are leaving on November 4 for Beijing and then on to Xian. They will fly and spend a few days in Shanghai, and then take the train with us on to Hefei in Anhui Province. This is a 10 hour train ride, but I really thought this would be cool to do with Jake and Jie Ling and a great way to see more of the country. We are leaving on the 14th, and will meet Xiao Ya on the 19th!!

We are so excited!! I just really, really, really, want to meet my little girl and welcome her into our family!! Oh and one small problem...I still don't have a name! Should we just call her Xiao Ya? Will this be too hard for people to pronounce? One of her names for sure is Elizabeth, as both of my youngest girls are named after their Aunts. I also love the name Katlyn, or Kate, or Katie, but isn't Katlyn Elizabeth XiaoYa Edwards just too long?? Maybe I'll just keep it to Elizabeth Xiao Ya Edwards, and call her Ya Ya for short. Or maybe I'll just go crack open another Corona and continue celebrating the fact that our baby really is coming home!!!!!!!!!!

Can You Believe This?

Our LOA is HERE!!!!

Hang on Honey, Mama's Coming!!!!!

Oh sweet girl how your life is going to change. I know you're going to be so scared and so confused, and I promise to try and do my best during your transition. Your family is very excited to meet you, and Jie Ling can't wait to share all the toys with you!! (?) Oh sweetie pie did you know you have two big brothers and three big sisters? You also have two sets of grandparents, a ton of aunts, uncles, and around 20 cousins, and we all live fairly near each other!! Your grandparents have been studying Chinese like mad, and well...your mom is a little nutty and has just recently taken an 8th grade math position, but don't stress too much honey, it's only part time!!

Oh Xiao Ya my heart is not cautious anymore!! You are going to be our daughter, our sister, our neice, our grandaughter, our cousin, our friend!! You have a family that is going to love you so much and we can't wait to learn and see your personality! Are you a serious girl? What makes you giggle? Did you know your mom loves to sing songs that get on everyone's nerves? Your dad is pretty serious and loves to fish, and likes to bring home M&Ms for his baby girls. Do you have a sweet tooth? Guess what else? One of your sisters likes to sleep with her mama! Would you like to snuggle with a mama at night and read books in bed? I do like to fall asleep with the tv on, so you'll have to get used to that!! We also love to sleep, so this is one requirement you must fulfill!

More later...